HOW TO DISCIPLE SOMEONE
A lesson about how to help others grow in the Lord.
FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON
Each person is different. Some will be ready to be discipled, while others are not ready.
Start with someone who you already know; but realize that usually your family and close friends are the ones least likely to listen to you. Matthew 13:54-58; Mark 6:1-6
Assume they want to be discipled and ask them if you can disciple them. Make it clear that they are under no obligation to meet with you.
Discuss the best time to meet.
BIG PICTURE
You must have integrity and demonstrate that integrity before them.
You must be consistent and on time. If you keep being late or keep canceling, then they will doubt your love for them and your commitment to them.
You have to earn their trust by keeping your word, being kind to them, and never sharing what they tell you with someone else. You must honor them by not gossiping about them. If they cannot trust you with little things, then they will not trust you with their heart.
You are teaching them to follow Christ in the way that Christ has taught you to follow Him.
You are meeting them where they are and taking them as far as they are willing to go.
You will focus on being the kind of person that Christ wants them to become.
You will teach them this first, by your example, and second, by your words.
Your goal is for them to learn how to study and obey the scriptures for themselves and to be able to teach others about the things that they learned from you.
You want them to know what they need to know.
You want them to care about what God cares about.
You want them to know how to obey what they know.
You want them to obey what they know.
You want them to develop the habit of obeying the Bible without your help.
When all is said and done, they will have everything they need to be successful in their walk with the Lord and to help someone else.
You will never teach them what you do not already know. Luke 6:39-42
You cannot teach them to be something you are not.
OTHER REMINDERS
You must pray for the person you are discipling and for yourself daily.
You must model the importance of prayer before them.
Treat them the way you would want someone to treat you as a new believer.
God will use them to strengthen your character.
God does not need to use you, but He wants to use you.
Be humble, kind, and patient, no matter what happens.
Give the person time to grow; do not rush the process.
Realize they are different than you and have a different culture and upbringing.
Make sure they can sense your genuine love for them in your voice, demeanor and smile. Never make them feel like a bother.
Remember that Satan will try to thwart your efforts to meet. He will try to discourage you and them.
BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS
Most discipleship happens informally. There are very few people who are ready to be discipled formally.
Look around your neighborhood, church, work, or school and find someone or a family that God might want to use you to teach them what He has already taught you.
Discover their interests and join them in their interests. Invest your time meeting them where they are at. For example, if they like sports; watch sports with them. As you spend time with them, inevitably the Lord will open the door for you to pursue more meaningful conversations.
Give them a chance to get to know your interests. Invite them into your home and life. They will see the Christlike character in you and your family and will seek to quietly emulate it. They will also ask you why you do what you do.
Eventually as they mature and see that you truly care, there may come an opportunity for you to invite them to let you to formally disciple them. Until then, you can cover the same formal material with them; but in an informal way through natural conversation.
Weekly Formal Discipleship Meetings
1.Meet with them once a week. Plan to meet for about two hours.
2. Have them over for coffee or meet with them somewhere in public.
3. Remind them to bring their bible, a pen, and a notebook to take notes.
4. When you meet with them:
Make sure you make them feel welcome and that you are eager to get to know them and help them.
Explain to them that you are only their to help them grow in their relationship with Christ.
Explain to them that they will only grow as much as they try to grow.
Make sure you do not talk too much or too fast or too slow.
Take time to ask questions to see how they feel about what you are teaching them.
Explain that they need to do what you teach them, otherwise they will not grow.
Learn more about their past, present, perspectives, and questions.
Share a little more about yourself and what God has done in your life.
Teach them about one of the topics on the weekly meetings page.
Encourage them to share what they learned with their family and friends.
You want them to come eager and excited for what you will teach them and for how you will encourage them.
You want them to leave encouraged; feeling like they will change by God’s grace and that they will make a difference in the world.
Always point them to the local church. Help them to see the benefits of being mentored by a pastor/elder, discipling others, using their spiritual gifts, and becoming an active member of a local church.
At the end of each meeting, ask them: “What is one thing that you learned that was the most helpful to you?”
5. Giving homework:
Understand that they might not be able to read or write well or they may not have a lot of self-discipline. Be patient with them. They might genuinely be busy or simply have their priorities mixed up. Consider their personality as you assign homework. You want to make the homework understandable, doable, and helpful. You want to stretch them so that even if they only can do half of the homework, then they will still grow.
Explain that even though you are giving them the homework, that it is up to them if they do it. Explain that they if do a little, then they will only learn a little and then they will only change a little.
You want to get them used to spending time with God each day, thinking about His word throughout the day, and learning basic doctrine.
Assign a chapter from the Bible per day to read. Have them follow the Spending Time with God pattern. Have them write down any questions they have and bring their questions with them the next time you meet.
Assign a memory verse with a question and prayer about a character quality that they are trying to grow in. Have them read it once an hour for a week.
Assign a memory verse about the Gospel and an explanation of the Gospel point. Have them read it once an hour for a week.
Have them read one Truth Lesson per week. Have them write down any questions they have and bring them the next time that you meet together.
Have them pray for someone whom they know is not saved.
Have them pray for God to show them who they might eventually disciple.
Be sure to give homework that they can actually apply so that it is not just academic.
You can use the Weekly Meetings as a guide.
Meeting Pattern
Begin the meeting by praying.
Inquire about their week and homework.
Listen more than you talk. Ask good questions.
Encourage them with an attribute of God and how it ties into the Gospel.
Teach them the lessons. As you teach the lessons, have them look the verse up and read it out loud to you. This will help them get used to using their Bible and see that what you are telling them is coming from the Bible.
Ask them what impacted them the most and why.
Assign and explain the homework.
Share prayer requests.
Have them pray.